Deciding to become a surrogate mother is a very noble, selfless thing to do. The fact that a surrogate is willing to sacrifice her body, her emotions, and her time, and that her family is willing to sacrifice as well is a wonderful gift for her intended parents.
But a surrogate who decides to help another family before completing her own may find herself in a position that would require her to need a surrogate mother herself. A surrogate mother should always be done creating her own family before she considers helping someone else. There are risks to every pregnancy. Many intended mothers have carried one or more children, possibly to term, and have suffered consequences that have caused them to become infertile. Some have experienced the loss of a uterus. Others have been told that another pregnancy could put their life in danger. So they turn to surrogacy.
The fact of the matter is that in many cases these women were presumed healthy before complications. Most of the time, a surrogate mother is assumed healthy. Though it may seem unlikely, every pregnancy can be her last. She could have developed serious complications after that. She may have an emergency c-section cut incorrectly that could threaten her chances of carrying another child.
For those surrogates who have completed their families, it is a risk that they are able to take. But imagine for a moment if you will, becoming unable to have your own children in your desire to help someone else. Typically, even though hormones and medications are involved in a surrogate pregnancy, it is not likely that some misfortune may happen to the surrogate. But twins, triplets, and more are quite common in gestational surrogacy, and the risk to the mother increases greatly.
It happens that a well-meaning surrogate mother has lost the ability to carry another child. More than once these surrogates have themselves become intended mothers, looking for a surrogate to assist them in completing their own families.
Deciding to become a gestational surrogate mother can be exciting! It feels very good knowing that you have helped to create another family, and have changed a couple’s lives forever. For this you can always go for IVF Centers. We have a surrogacy centre that offers low Cost IVF Treatment in Delhi, India. You can co reach us any time for any type of consultation.
But before you jump into surrogacy, there are a few vital things you need to know.
• It’s not easy
Unlike a normal pregnancy, there are many more coils or loops you need to jump through with surrogacy. Many medical tests need to be done and multiples like twins and triplets are common. There will be more doctors’ appointments, and someone else will need to be updated about everything that happens.
There is no privacy in surrogacy. Things you would normally only share with your spouse now needs to be shared with another couple.
You may be asked to postpone family vacations or holidays so that you do not deliver the baby or babies in the wrong hospital. Sacrifice will have to be made.
• It doesn’t always work
Surrogacy is very time consuming. If you are lucky, a shorter gestational surrogacy can take about a year.
On the other hand, if the medical procedures do not work the first time, you could go through three or four or more cycles, some several months apart, and have a journey last more than two years. Sometimes a surrogate mother does not get pregnant at all.
Since a surrogate mother typically does not receive her fees until she is pregnant, she should never depend on that money coming in. Often, it does not come in at all.
• You’ll need to give yourself shots
If you haven’t found out this critical piece of gestational surrogacy information, then you need to do a lot more research before you do anything else. Gestational surrogacy requires shots.
You will be required to give yourself 1-3 shots daily, for more than three months. Some of these shots are little needles that resemble diabetic insulin shots, but most are the long, 2-3 inch syringes that are to be injected into the muscular part of your buttocks.
Your partner can help you to tackle with this situation if possible. This part of gestational surrogacy procedure is unpleasant, but mandatory.
• How do you feel about selective reduction?
Selective reduction happens when there are more than two fetuses. If you become pregnant with triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets or more, how would you feel if the doctors and intended parents wanted to “selectively reduce” aka abort some of the fetuses to get to just two?
It is important to note that you are still more than able to become a surrogate mother if you would not selectively reduce under any circumstances. It’s just important to know that and find intended parents who feel the same way.
Multiples are very common in surrogacy. Do not assume it will not happen to you.
• You need your own lawyer
If you become a surrogate mother, you will need to sign a contract. You need your own lawyer, not a shared lawyer with the intended parents.
The intended parents will pay for the cost of your attorney to look over your contract. This is in your best interest, as your attorney may find something that would inadvertently take advantage of you. We are one among the centers that provide these surrogate mothers at low cost in Delhi, India. You can reach us any time for any consultancy services.
• Set your own fees
No two surrogacy arrangements are alike, and the fees a surrogate receives are very personal, and vary completely. If you are considering becoming a surrogate mother, you need to research the different types of fees and see which ones are appropriate for your situation.
If you do not do this prior to finding intended parents, you may feel as though you are being taken advantage of later. Knowing what fees you are looking for also makes it easier to talk about money when the time comes.
The thing is, this is all unnecessary. Those who wish to become surrogate mothers should simply wait until they have completed their own families. There is no need to rush; unfortunately, infertility seems to be reaching an all-time high.
Intended parents looking for a surrogate mother usually prefer one who is done having her own children. This relieves their worry about feeling guilty if their surrogate should become infertile while helping their family.
It also may help to ease some concern over her emotional state when it comes time to deliver the child. Though in most situations it is unwarranted, many intended parents fear that a surrogate mother will have trouble, emotionally, upon the birth of their child. Knowing she absolutely does not want another child goes a long way towards easing this doubt.
For these reasons, many agencies prefer surrogate mothers to have completed their families as well. All around, it just makes good sense.
So if you are considering surrogacy, and are not sure yet whether you are done having your own babies, wait. You’ll be doing the best thing for your family as well as that which you help.